Friday, 26 February 2010

The 2010 Career Conundrum

I love my job. I really do. It has its fair share of ups and downs, and I get bashed around a bit, but on the whole, I am doing what I have wanted to do for my entire life. This year, my 'official training' comes to an end and I will be a fully fledged PC, but yesterday I resigned. Twice.

I have had some time off due to the crash, and my first day back at work was Wednesday. In the time I have had off, a new seargent was promoted. She was off on Wednesday, so I didnt get to meet her, but from what a couple of the guys were saying, she has been drafted in from a different constab, and she has dragged her bad attitude with her, pissing off half of the force within her first few days.

On Thursday, I got into work and she was there already. I had barely got changed when she took me to one side, demanded to know why I had so long off from work, and asked me how I felt about 'being paid for mickey taking absences, over minor injuries'. Now, I dont take well to being pulled up on something that has no connection to her, and was dealt with before she even transfered, and when I told her that if she wanted reasons she could check my file, and that I would be speaking to the Inspector (her superior) about her attitude, she tried passing it off as bad sarcasm on her part, and asked me to keep it to myself.

I decided, although I knew she was full of shit, to leave it go by and get on with my work. About an hour or so later, I was taling to her about some arrest forms, and explained that the name on one was wrong. Because she was dealing with it, I couldnt ammend it myself, and obviously because we dont want to be prosecuting the wrong people, putting the right information on the forms is paramount. She argued with me for over 15 minutes about how she doesnt make mistakes, and refused point blank to double check the sheets.

When she finally gave in and checked them, and saw the mistake, she came right up in my face, saying 'Are you happy now Ryan? Is it so important to make me look stupid? I've put it right now'. I just responded with, 'Was it wrong though?' and she went bananas, started screaming at me in front of a room full of officers about how shitty my attitude is and if the only reason I come to work is to undermine her in 'her' station, then she will see to it that I won't be coming there for much longer, before dragging me into one of the interview rooms for another grilling.

Steve, the Inspector on duty who overheard everything followed us in and it all went to shit. This girl is a jumped up, silly little bitch who has let a bit of power get to her head. She is younger than me, which just made me even more pissed. I know it shouldnt, but you hear about this at work all the time. From what we have found out from former colleagues of hers, she got her promotion through brown nosing, and when it comes to actual policing, she doesnt know her arse from her elbow, and got all her merit from taking other peoples credit. As big headed as it sounds, I am brilliant at my job. I work my arse off and I am well respected at work, and I won't be spoken to like that by anyone.

This girl tried her best to make it look like I was being disrespectful to her and talking to her like shit, but I think that the Steve saw through it. She started shouting again, and I stood up, said that she is out of order, and obviously not the right person for the job, and told them that I was quitting. Steve managed to get me sat down, and spoke to me about how it will all be dealt with, but she just wouldnt give up, and kept talking to me like shit. In the end I threw my badge down and walked out.

I spoke to Steve and agreed not to quit there and then, but to take 3 days out until Monday to think things over and calm down. He stood and told me about how good he thinks I am and what an asset to the team I am etc, which was nice, because he never says stuff like that to anyone. One of the guys text me today and said that the Sarge had been demoted and moved to desk for the forseeable, which is a relief, and so I guess I will be going back after all, but I have never had a day like that before, where I absolutely hate my job. I am not even totally sure why I have written all this to be honest, but it just pissed me off no end. I think maybe I am just worried that it will taint my view of the job. We will have to wait and see I guess.

On another note I need a holiday. The Winter in the UK doesnt seem to want to end. 3 months of on/off snow, and freezing temperatures is driving me insane. Jay and I have been looking for destinations and we have whittled it down to a few, though none are particularly cheap. We are looking at Dubai, Hawaii, Tunisia or Mauritious, though right now, just for a bit of sunshine I would probably be happy with a weekend in Spain.

Anyway, this has turned into a really whiny little blog so I will leave it at that. Think I will take a wee while to give the blog that overhaul I was talking about a few weeks back.

Have a good weekend guys.


Saturday, 20 February 2010

Needed: Padded Cell W/ A View

Ten days sinse my last blog. A long old time and lots to fill you in on, but I am going to keep this pretty short and too the point. Ok, so to start, remember that pesky broken wrist of mine? Well I finally got the cast off last Friday. That was a massive relief because the itching was unbearable. My wrist looked really skinny too which was wierd and I felt kinda odd without it for a couple hours, but I was glad to have it off nonetheless.

On Saturday, Shane and I were driving into town for her to pick some stuff up. I haven't had time to catch up with her much lately so I offered to drive her around so she could get all her stuff done. It was an eventful day to say the least. So we were driving into town and we pull up at the lights. We were barely there 20 seconds when some dude, drunk out of his brain, rams into my ass doing 50. We both had our belts on, but the forced shunted us forward, with Shane smashing her face into the dashboard. I used the steering wheel to hold me upwards so that I didnt hit my face (not needing another broken nose less than 2 months after the last).

As if that wasn't bad enough, the force of the car hitting us pushed my car forward into the crossroad, and we where then hit by a car coming from our right, which smashed into my side, buckling the door and pinning my arm between the door and the wheel. I heard a loud crack and then, a mere 24 hours after having the cast off, my wrist broke again. It was even more painful this time and I screamed like a bitch.

My knee took quite a bashing as well and I am covered in cuts and bruises, but I am mainly ok. I had to do two nights in hospital, but other than my arm now hurting like crazy, and with the return of the 8 week itch, I am mainly ok. Shane had a pretty rough deal though. She broke her nose, and has two black eyes from headbutting the dashboard, then as she was moving her head back and the other car hit us, she smacked her head against the side window, which then smashed and cut her head open, so she had to have some stitches as well. All that injury between us both, and all she did was moan about them shaving a patch of her head. Typical woman.

Needless to say, my car is a write-off. I am off work again too. I swear they are going to start thinking I am self harming to get time off or something. I have a million forms to sort out, plus because it has to go to court, there is the effort of waiting for another station to deal with it all (it can't go through the one I work at for legal reasons), plus insurance and statements and whatever else. Its a bloody nightmare!

I suppose the good thing is, that this time I wasn't just being clumsy, and what happened wasn't my own fault like when I fell and bashed my face, or grabbed the hot kettle. I swear though, one more injury before christmas and I am going to invest in a suit of armour or something.

So yea, anyway, that is why I have been quiet. I dread to imagine how bad it would have been if we werent wearing our seatbelts. Jay has been looking after me though. He really is amazing. When he came to the hospital and saw the state of me before they got me cleaned up, he started tearing up. I looked a lot worse than I was though. We had to do Valentines Day in hospital, which was different I guess. He loved all his gifts though, and he got me some amazing stuff. I will tell you all about it next time though because he has just run me a bath and so I have to head off.

Stay safe guys.


Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Making Up Random Words

Woohoo, two posts in two days. I havent managed that feat for a while.

I have been trying to catch up with my reading of posts today. I haven't been on here as much as I would like and I feel a bit like I am neglecting my readers a bit, so today I have been catching up, leaving my comments and just generally peeping in on all your lives.

I am not 100% sure what I am going to be writing about today. This could go either way I guess. I will either dribble on about crap until eventually you are all sleeping and dribbling into your keyboards, or it will be one of those times when all of a sudden, a hundred things spring to mind that I should tell you all about and you will need extra caffiene to get through it all. I will insert a sexy man picture at this point to sustain some interest.

I got a call this morning from work (I am off until Monday) saying that they have played around with my shifts and as of monday they are putting me on days (8-6 shifts) to see how that works out for a bit. I will still obviously be doing the twilights as well sometimes, but it will mean that my shifts are a bit more spread out, which means I will be seeing a whole lot more of Jay and my friends, which is a good thing.

Cinema tonight with Jay. We are going to see Invictus. Its all about rugby with Matt Damon in the lead, so I can't see how it can fail to impress me. I think Jay is quite excited too. He got his first taste of the game at the weekend when the Six Nations kicked off and he seemed to enjoy it. I told him that if he doesnt get it, then he can at least spend 80 minutes checking out all the hairy and toned legs, so it was a win win situation. I will update you all with whether or not the film is actually any good when I next post.

Off topic I know, but I am soooooo cold it is unreal. Its snowing again today and I just can't seem to get the apartment warmed up. Right now I am fully clothed, reporting to you from under a duvet, sat next to a radiator (and for some reason I have the theme tune to Murder She Wrote stuck in my head). This is quite a random scenario.

I have been asked by my old High School to go and give a talk about careers. How awesome is that? It's a bit scary and I haven't said yes yet, but I think I might do it. Nick, an old teacher of mine who I am still in touch with, is organising it, and I think he wants me there more than anything, to talk about adversity, rather than the actual job. I suppose for that reason, perhaps it is a good idea to do it. I remember when I was younger thinking I would never be able to do my job because I wouldnt be accepted for being gay, and I would have to spend the rest of my life pretending not to be. Maybe talking about how uneffecting my sexuality is on the job, will have a good impact on some of the kids? I don't know. High school was an awesome part of my life, but going back there now seems scary as hell. I have some time to think on it though. Would you do it?

How do you feel about some audience participation? Ew, perhaps audience is the wrong word to use. It makes it sound like you have come here to see me. Contributer participation. Is that a word? It sounds right but it looks odd. Off I go again, if it wasn't a word, it is now. So anyways, you all contribute with comments and opinions and such, so how about some more? I have been thinking about a site overhaul. I love the colour black. Black is classy. But I am sick of winter, and everytime I look at my blog it reminds me of dark and depressing nights. I want to herald in the new season with a change? Different colour, bit of personalisation, maybe even a name change. What do you think? Good idea? Any suggestions for colours or fonts etc?

While we are on the subject of contributers, a big hearty hello to all my new followers. Very happy to have you all on board, and I look forward to your comments and reading your stuff. I have said it before, but I will defo be getting my act together with this thing again soon. I need to update my shout out's and my dating disasters and stuff. Perhaps I will do a shout out or DD today?

So this really didnt end up being full of interesting stuff after all. Sorry about that. More boringness from me (and another made up word I think). It looks like several people have now dribbled into their keyboards after all. Oh well. I guess I will leave it at that for now. If you managed to stay with me this far, well done and thank you. I promise my next blog will be worth reading. It will be all about how I saved the world from imploding...... Or something.


Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Happy Valentine??

So I just got back from town. The one time I hate shopping is when I have to think of gifts for other people. Generally I pretty much love shopping, and I haven't had a good spree in quite some time, but today was a bloody nightmare and I blame it all on that bloody Saint Valentine fellow. I know Jay really well and I am confident that I can buy him things that he will love, but we are still in the stage where we are always buying things for each other, so most of the good ideas I have for gifts for him have already been used up on random gifts I pick up when I am in town. The hard part about today was getting things which say, I love you with all my heart. Generic DVD's or clothes just won't cut it.

The thing with me is, when it comes to shopping I never know when to stop. I never feel like I have got quite enough. Christmas is a nightmare because I end up spending hundreds of pounds more than is needed, buying extra gifts that aren't needed, so that I don't feel like I am being a cheapskate. I blame it on my younger brother. I remember one time when he was younger, saying to me 'is that all?' when I gave him his birthday presents and ever sinse then I go into overdrive whenever I have to buy people things. I will need to send my credit card to a health spa before long.

Anyways, so I walked around town thinking I will just get him a book or something. I know it sounds rubbish, but its the only thing he said he wanted. A specific hardback edition of the LOTR trilogy. It was £35 (£35 for a fucking book!) don't get me wrong, I dont mind spending the money, but the books are shit and so I felt like it was money wasted.

I wandered around the shops feeling lost. The worst part was probably trying to pick a card. Do you think I could find a nice, classy looking card? Could I hell. They were all trashy, chavvy or just plain wierd. One, for example, had a dog with boxing gloves on the front. Whats that all about? Lots of them, and I have no idea why, had rosettes stuck on the front. The type like they award dogs with at Crufts. Who thinks up these things? I mean seriously! What was I supposed to do with that? 'Here's your card. And congratulations on coming first in this year's best boyfriend awards'. Yuck! And why can't you just by a card with 'boyfriend' on the front, thats also nice to look at. The only ones that were remotely buyable had things like 'to my partner' on the front. Who the hell says that? Thats one of the most impersonable things you can have printed on the front of a card.

The only bit of the card selection process I enjoyed was looking at the older men hovering in their trenchcoats trying not to look too shifty whilst trying to find something that won't get them a slap off the missus. You could see the nerves all over their faces. These men looked like they were being sent to war, it was hysterical. Anyways, I found a half decent card (It's not the best, but the best they had) and headed to the till. The old lady behind the counter was looking at me funnily before finally saying 'you do know this card is meant for another man, don't you?', like I had gone in, closed my eyes and reached for any old card and hoped for the best. She quickly rushed through the sale when I asked her if she thought it was gay enough. Clintons ain't what it used to be I tell you.

I digress. Anyway, against my better judgement, I got the book, but as soon as I paid for it, I got that feeling again. Even though he said it is all he wanted, it just didnt seem enough. I ended up buying him another two books. Then I went and got him two computer games. Then a cd. Then Some chocolates. Some gorgeous underwear. Then some DVD's (see my issue here?). The thing is, the money doesnt figure into it. I dont mind spending the money. Its more the amount of actual gifts. I didn't want him to have that 'is that all' feeling, so I just kept going. I got him a mug with this little ditty on about being a brilliant boyfriend. Then I picked him up a few funny things, like a sex bell (for him to ring when he wants sex, obviously)....

Ooh I just had major Deja vu

Sorry, back on track. So I decided if I didnt get out of the shopping centre my bank would be sending men to bundle me off to shopaholics anonymous. On my way out though I passed a jewellers and I figured I should have a browse. I only went in to have a snoop but I ended up coming out with an engraved silver bracelet (Grrrr). Its lovely though. I had his name put on the plate part, then on the underside had the date we started going out. I think he will really like that.

By this point I was nearly free. The exit was in sight and I knew that I could be in the car park within three minutes. I swear, if I had had a scissors I would have cut my card to shreds. So just as I was about to get out of there, I passed the phone shop. I looked down at my bags and thought 'just one more thing' and ended up buying him an iPhone. Cupid Has a lot to answer for!

The thing is, I got home, looked at everything I baught and it hit me. He would have been happy with just a card. He would never say 'is this it?' and would be happy with anything I got him. I feel a bit silly now. I hate feeling like I havent done enough, but he will probably look at everything I got and wonder why I spoiled him so much when in reality, I really didnt need to do that. To top it all off, I forgot to get the wrapping paper. Bloody Valentines day!!


Friday, 5 February 2010

Surprises, Speed Dating and Silent Discos

Well hello there gentle readers. How goes it?

Major silence from me lately. Lots and lots to fill you all in on. I shall start from the beginning. Because I am boring like that. So Friday. I started work at 4am and finished at 2pm. Jay was home when I got back. Said he had taken a half day. He was fussing around sorting stuff out in the bedroom so I got my head down on the sofa for a couple of hours. He woke me up at about 6 and told me to jump in the shower. He was acting all weird and when I got out into the hallway there was two suitcases ready.

He told me to rush to get ready, so I did, though I hate surprises and kept nagging at him to tell me what was going on. Anyways, about 45 minutes later and a taxi pulls up to take us to the airport. We get there and he finally tells me that he has booked us a weekend away in Edinburgh. He knows how much I love that city. Basically, he wanted to take me for Valentines weekend, but he couldn't get the time off of work, so he arranged it for 2 weeks earlier, which I thought was lovely. Also means I will have to up my game in the gift stakes now.

So the flight didnt take long. Less than an hour. We got there and we were booked into this amazingly gorgeous hotel. Jay has never been before, but I lived there for a year when I was about 10, so I got even more excited at the thought of taking him around and showing him everything. It was quite late when we got there so we had some wine in the hotel and went to bed.

The following morning we got up and went down to the Grass Market to have a look around. I showed him the sights, Hollyrood, The Royal Mile, Edinbugh Castle, The Vaults etc and in the evening he took me out to a really nice restaurant for a meal. It was amazing. On sunday we did a bit more wandering and ate out again, but mainly spent the day chilling before coming home on Monday. It was such a brilliant weekend and a lovely surprise.

On tuesday my friend dragged me to a silent disco. It was awful. I felt like a prized nob standing there with my headphones in. I suppose the plus side to it was that I only had to listen to the music I like, but at any time when I took the headphones off, this eerie feeling came over me. Watching 200 people dancing in silence is a lot creepier than you would imagine. The beer was cheap though, so I got myself nice and merry listening to my iPod. I dont think I would do it again, but my friend loves all this kind of stuff. She is taking me speed dating in two weeks, so I have to pretend to be a single straight man for the night. Free champers though, so it didnt take long to talk me into it.

Jay thinks its hysterical. I keep telling him I am going to meet and settle down with a nice lady. It's doubtful, even if I was single and it was full of gay men though, that anything would come out of these things. Do people actually go there in the hope of meeting someone? Or is it just meant to be a bit of fun? I can't imagine a worse scenario for meeting people. 3 minutes to sell yourself to a 'prospective buyer' in the hopes that 3 minutes worth of conversation will lead to an actual date? Its stupid. Or am I stupid? Do these things work? Have any of you tried them? It tales me three minutes to check they have nice shoes, nice teeth and dont bite their nails (these are musts). I suppose its just a bit of fun anyways. Its not like I am looking for an actual date. And certainly not with one of them women creatures.

Wednesday and Thursday were both night shifts. After such a long week, they really took it out of me. I am trying to get myself onto some more humane shifts. It would mean that I dont have to have silly sleep patterns and would get some more time with Jay. I hate getting up and leaving him in the middle of the night. Or crawling into bed as he is leaving for work. Even if he is home when I finish a shift, the first thing I usually want to do is grab some sleep so by the time I wake up, he is heading to bed. Its not so bad so far because we are still getting to see each other a lot, but my hours will be increasing soon, and when I am tired, im a moody little shit, so I think if I can't get more flexible hours, then I will maybe request a transfer to another station. Its my own fault I guess, I requested the later shifts when I was single and now they dont suit me anymore. Lets hope I can get something sorted though.

Ive left a few things over at my old place so I have to pay a visit there over the next few days. I am really pissed off with them at the moment so I have been putting it off. I was sorting through some stuff the other day, and noticed that they have taken loads of my cd's and dvd's. To cover it though, they put the bloody cases back. You have to admire their strategy, but it has really pissed me off. Jay thinks I may have just put them in the wrong cases or something, but I am so anal about these things, I never would have. I still have my key so I am tempted to just go and have a snoop when I know that nobody is there, but I will leave that until after I have asked them. If they deny it, then I will do the snooping. Grrr, they make me so mad.

Nice and relaxed night for us tonight. Jay is doing some overtime, but then I am making a meal and we are sitting down to watch Erin Brockovich. He has never seen it. Crazy man. I am in the mood for it too, so that all we have planned. Bowling and then a meal in town tomorrow, then back in work for me at 8pm tomorrow night. No rest for the devilishly handsome I guess.

Have a good weekend guys.