Monday, 30 November 2009

Dating Disasters - 1

OK so I said yesterday that I would start talking about some of my dating disasters and so here is the first. I've been in quite a few awkward situations with guys, and rather than let it get me down like some people do, I usually see the funny side and move on, so with a bit of luck these will make you chuckle until milk runs out of your nose, and it would be great to hear some of yours too.

Ok so this story is short because I didnt stay around for too long, but here goes. About 2 years ago I was out with a friend in a bar and I got chatting to this guy called Russell. He seemed nice enough. He looked a bit unkempt, but in a hot way rather than a scruffy way. He was a student I think, and he seemed to have the attitude of a bit of a tree hugger. Anyways, we arranged to go out later in the week, and exchanged numbers.

A few days later on the 'date' we met outside a bar and then had a couple of drinks. Things seemed to be going well and he asked if I wanted to go and get some food somewhere. We were near china Town so I thought we would end up going there or to some of the nicer places nearby, but as we walked he was telling me about all these different allergies he suffered from and how he can only eat certain foods, and we ended up in McDonalds. To say I was pissed off is an understatement. Dont get me wrong, I have nothing against the place, but when your dressed to impress and out with someone on a date, its not the place to be seen.

Despite his choice of eatery, the night wasnt so bad and I invited him back to mine. we had a few drinks and then went into the bedroom. Things were a bit awkward at first. He undressed me, but was really reluctant to take his own clothes off. After about half an hour I was close to giving up and wanted to ask him to leave, but then he finally got naked and got in bed and things seemed to be back on course.

We had to share a single bed and it wasnt so comfortable, but he was kinda lying on top of me. He started to nuzzle his head into my neck and I thought he was going to kiss it, but then, out of fucking nowhere, he starts purring. FUCKING PURRING!!! I mean full on, from the diaphragm, purring. In the 30 seconds it took me to work out what the hell was going on, he startes nuzzling into my neck again, licking his hand like a cat and griding his dick against my leg.

I asked him what the fuck he was doing, and he just looked at me, still purring, and asked me if I would call him Kitten!!!??! "Kitten?", I questioned, and as I did, he let out a big sigh, pushed himself against me one more time and then shot a load onto my leg!! My reaction was a mix of shock and disgust and it took me less than 5 minutes to have him dressed and out of my flat. I never saw or heard from him again, thank god!


  1. Hi Ryan O!

    Thanks for Following It's GB - I used to live in Todmorden for some years and worked in M/c - but that was before the IRA blew up the Arndale and improved the place no end!

    God, having read your latest post about the guy who wanted to be a kitten, I was thinking what a judgemental, stuck-up whatsit you sounded; then I read abotu the stinking house-mate and started to get sympathetic and think you might be human afteral.

    Then I read the one about volunteering to talk teenage guys around a bit and I'm full of admiration.

    I guess there's bits of me you'll loathe, sneakily quite admire and outright approve of - or maybe not!

    I'll Follow you to keep in touch and I would offer to exchange blog roll links - but you don't seem to have one.

    if you wand to get at all known, then I guess it might be an idea. Still, that's up to you.

  2. Hey Mickey

    Thanks for the comment. I assure you I am not stuck up lol, just taken by surprise a bit I guess. Usually a very nice guy though and I hope you enjoy what you read from me. I will set a blogroll to. I have been meaning to for sinse I set this up and keep forgetting


  3. lmao .... purrrrrrrrrr ......... would say that would of shock me coming out of nowhere .... would of lost it too .... yep ... Just

  4. To each his own, and thanks for following! ;-)

    I certainly have my own set of kinks, and I'm sure you do as well... the only catch is when you get a complete mis-match between the two.

  5. Yeah well..., maybe if he had mentioned if before the event. You know given you time to get used to idea.

    On the whole though, I think you were a lot nicer than I would have been.

    Cheers for that, it did make me laugh.


  6. thats the funniest shit i've read in a long time. i could not deal with a man who purrs. no.

  7. lol...
    hug a kitten today. You can... Especially an allergic one that can only eat in McDonalds. Make sure though you change his sand regularly.

  8. Glad you all enjoyed the story. There are more to come, so keep an eye out for them :D


  9. Ryan O you didn't come off as stuck up at all. More like a guy who knows what he wants... meow... lol!